Saying goodbye was hard. And I know it's not really goodbye, it's "see you later"(vi ses)- between facebook, email, and skype, it will be easy to stay in touch, and, I fully plan on returning to Denmark- but still, it is a short term goodbye, and it's sad knowing that I won't be seeing these wonderful people every day anymore. Life will be very different.
I didn't cry in front of anyone, though- not my style, I guess. Pernille was first; I said goodbye to her after dinner last night. Like I said, I know we'll be in touch, but it's still very different to talk when 6000 miles apart than face to face. I'm really going to miss laughing and talking about everything with her.
Then, this morning I woke up early to say goodbye to Søs before she had to go to work. It was so sad; we hugged, exchanged thanks and goodbyes, and then she left. I went to my empty room, knowing I couldn't go back out to say "hej, hej" once more as she left, or I would lose it. I briefly let my sadness hit me, but then swallowed the rest and putting the final touches on packing.
Mads was next; he had to leave for school and came in to say bye. He joked that I should bring Milo to the US with me, and we laughingly watch him sit next to my overstuffed, huge blue duffle bag. Bella ran in, and he (appropriately) said that she could be my "handpose" (handbag), sine Milo clearly wasn't going to work. We hugged, and said goodbye, and then he was gone as well.
It was just Henrik and I (and the dogs, of course) after that. We sat and ate breakfast together, and just killed time for the next hour and a half, until 9:30, when we would leave for the airport. Time had never moved so slowly- what do you do when you are just waiting until it is time for a terrible, inevitable, final moment of goodbye?
But finally the time came. We had packed the car as part of the time killing, so all that was left was saying bye to Milo and Bella. Even that was sadder than I had anticipated. Henrik took a picture of us in the driveway, and I game them a kiss. We then got in the car and drove off. I had to blink away tears as we went, looking out at the landscape around me for a final time. I wanted to remember everything; I still do. I say I will be back, but I don't know when that will be, so the memories will have to do for now.
It was a quiet ride- what was there to saw? We arrived at the airport, driving past the Hilton where we had to go on my second day in Denmark for orientation- leaving just the way I came. We parked and headed to the terminal; my life for the past 4 moths packed into bags on the cart we were pushing. As we walked into the departure area, I couldn't help but see the waiting area outside baggage, the very spot where, 4 months and 3 days earlier, Henrik, Søs, and Mads had waited to greet me, fresh off a plane from Paris, which brought on another wave of emotion.
We soon found out about the delay, from one of the thousand DIS students at the airport, while in the bag drop line. I was lucky enough to be able to check all m bags without an extra fee, which was a great surprise, but the momentary happiness did little to help with the sadness that overwhelmed the morning, the elephant in the airport. With just my purse in tow, I gave Henrik a final, long goodbye hug, and then turned and headed onto the escalator.
I thought he was taking a picture of me on the ascent; turns out, he was actually filming it. So I put on a happy face, genuinely laughing at the site of him with the camera, and waved my final goodbyes. But the smiles were mostly for the camera, to hide the empty feeling of loss that came with saying goodbye to people who had become such a wonderful part of my life. At the top of the escalator, I gave a final wave, and turned to walk away, towards security, as the tears began to fall. I couldn't look back- I was a mess. I wanted the last memory that Henrik and everyone has of me to be a happy one, a smiling one.
The waiting in the airport wasn't really anything to note- napped, read, ate, walked, etc. Normal airport stuff. I tried to keep my mind off leaving. I got choked up and teary again when I reread the card Søs wrote, but that was it. It will hit me later, the sadness and the missing and everything, I know it will. But for now, I will try to just think about the positive things. And I will be back to Denmark- hopefully sooner than later.
Again, picftures to come.
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